you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
