I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
