I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize