all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
NoShamevember. You game?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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