his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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