Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
