At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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