Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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