you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i think i just lost a toe
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize