Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize