Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
