When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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