Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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