Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
