Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
