overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
