Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
