no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
