My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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