If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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