i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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