yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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