She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
