Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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