i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
