I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize