so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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