Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
