just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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