Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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