I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
babies were throwing up all over the place
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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