So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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