With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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