Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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