Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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