I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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