I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
