Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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