dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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