wanna go halves on a baby?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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