The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
