No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So squirting runs in the family.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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