this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
