I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
