he shaved USA in his pubs
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
