i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
