ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
