let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
