That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
