I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
