He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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