respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
