it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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