she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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