like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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