was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
