Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
