I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize