I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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