Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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